my 108th: 30 mins til’ midnight
Sober again. It’s just wonderful whenever something shifts that fast. Your turning right but your wheels just wanna go the other way. I feel so alone tonight. I feel like everybody just wants something from me but not the whole me. Someone wants me because they can benefit from me. I’m tired of the word me. It makes me feel selfish whenever I use it. I don’t want no bottle to cheer me up nor a needle nor another’s arms. Well, I can make exemptions though. All I want is just someone to understand. that’s all. I know I’m moody but I’m more than that….I mean c’mon I make mistakes. But I just one soul. One soul to look beyond what my weaknesses and strengths are.
Another’s arms. Where’s all the (true)love in the world? I feel like I’ve been deprived with it.
It’s 30 minutes til midnight. Another day is arising. I know I will feel better tomorrow. All of this feeling will disappear. Even the people involved. I do not have to sink within this feeling. I might feel this way but I’ll be alright.
I hope you called back. But you didn’t. Sorry but it might change things a bit and I want you to know I don’t live just for anybody.
Is it goodbye? Still, I hope not. But if it is, there are a lot of fishes in the sea.
Worth giving my whole being.
