EherM eHERm

"I like you but…. still it saddens me."

It’s sad when you think this person will prove your worth pero ikaw lang talaga ang makakahanap ng worth mo. Dapat hindi mo hinahanap sa ibang tao.

Tsk tsk tsk

Lately, I’ve been having troubles with my studies. I know I’m flunking. Little by little. Slowly yet fast paced. There’s a lot of urges to do something terrible but God didnt allow it to happen. It’s just a matter of how we see through things and how we do them.

Part of being a post grad student, you’ll undergo series of tensions, sweaty armpits and sessions of headaches. You’ll be with different types of people, to the group geek up to the person with the attitude problem and the good thing is, you’ll actually learn something.

This morning, we went to the national lib to research about our thesis. It was fun. Yes, it was. Honestly. Walang halong kaplastikan. Masaya magbuklat ng libro ilan taon ng nakabaon sa memorya ng mga utak ng authors na sumulat ng mga iyon. *whew* If you’ll just get your butt off the chair, you’ll actually achieve things you thought you couldnt achieve.

One amazing thing I noticed on the library was an old rugged street man.. actually trying to read and seizing every picture he sees on the book. It’s amazing. It overwhelms me. It humbled me. it made my heart melt. It makes me wanna cry just to even remember it. The feeling is just overflowing. I actually don’t know how to describe it. Nakakatuwa and at the same time… nakakabless.

"sometimes the most meaningful message comes from silence.. for only a sincere heart can hear and understand the words left unspoken…" 

Have you ever get the feeling that you’re starting to like someone and you’re so scared to lose that person if he knew what you really feel about him? I hate it.. well.. not really.. but not now! I don’t want to lose this person. I don’t want to chase him away. I’m tired of chasing people away and i’m sick of people leaving. Nakakainis! It’s not the right time yet. Zwoiks. Kainis. This is driving me nuts! Haha. Anyways. I’d rather suffer than to lose this person. I don’t want to lose him. But if God wills it, then so be it.

My skin asthma is at it again. waaah… but I’m ok. hehe

my dad’s drunk again… *sigh* I wanna cry.

When you look at a person what do you usually see?

Think twice…

Do you judge and say "I am much better"

or

"This person is special. Might as well write her/him a letter."

You gotta look twice and beyond.

You may not know this person is longing to be found.

Today I realized I’m still a kid by heart, not ready to commit on a ’steady’ relationship,  still a cry baby and still seeks for the people whom I truly love and admire since from the beginning. This day made me realize how I missed my family so much! two years without them I became numb, not knowing slowly I’m drawing apart but somehow deep inside there is a stirring that you want to be with this people each and everyday of your life. Since way back I was the ‘bunso’ of the family. I would remember my cousins would pick on me but at the end of the day they would just hug me and tell me how much they adore me. Those days might be over but it’s buried deep inside of me and I will always keep on remembering it. How I wish I could turn back the days when we were living on the same roof. We sleep in bunks and kahit sino pwede kong tabihan and they would cuddle me. I miss that. I miss them so much.

Envy, ngayon nararamdaman ko na yung nararamdaman mo about you not wanting to lose someone. Masakit pa rin pala talaga. Smehow and in someway a part of you is taken away and it sucks big time…

I dont want to lose them… my family… I admit I face people strongly but what they dont see is a kid just wanting to be with people she loves dearly and who accepts her for who she is.

To my family… from the bottom of my heart

I love you guys and how I missed you! Sana maulit ulit yung family outing and stuff and sana next time complete tayo! yey!

Godbless mwahhugssss!

lovelots, Gatchang