Sunday, April 16th, 2006
Minsan di ko talaga maintindihan ang mga nangyayari sa paligid ko pero di naman yun ang mahalaga. Basta masaya si God, then every thing is on it’s proper place. Life is indeed unfair. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m talking about reality here. It was made that way so people won’t be contented on the grounds they stand and God wants them to grow and be strong. My point? Well, it’s the same thing happening to me right now. Kakatapos lang ng camp and all and let me tell you it was life changing. It was an honor to serve God in many ways and I’m happy to get to share my life and God’s love to other people. The real journey begins when we got back. Daming struggles. Actually sa camp pa nga lang may mga struggles din. Isa na dun is yung temper ko pero dats another story. Heart issues toh. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan. My feelings for "him" was getting stronger. AAAahh! (hehe. Heart issue nga eh di ba?) Ayoko naman din kasing mag assume na may gusto din siya sa akin. In fact, I don’t think na may nararamdaman siya. Di ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang kami nagka-ilangan sa isa’t isa. haaay… Nung gabi nga ng bonfire, gusto ko siyang i-hug. I even crid kasi I want the feeling to go away! and I even have plans on telling "him" para just in case mawala na. Pero hindi ganun eh and I’m a leader. I need to set an example. I got to know where my standards stands and it is to please God and not to indulge on my own plans. Ayun nga so it continued…. until…. May nalaman ako about "him". Honestly disappointed ako but ganun talaga. Ganun talaga ang buhay, parang gulong, nasusunog! hehe joke lang! Just tryin to cool myself. I-tatype ko na lang ang mga sasabihin ko sa kanya baka sakaling mabawasan ang sakit (although di ko ramdam ung sakit pero it’s driving me nuts)
"him"
Hi. Uhmm. Actually, di ko alam kung ano yung sasabihin ko at paano ko ito sasabihin sayo pero I’ll try my best. Para rin toh sa ikabubuti natin. For the past few months ng pagkakakilala natin, I really feel blessed to have known such a person like you. You have always make me laugh. I don’t really know kung bakit bigla na lang ganito yung naramdaman ko. I just want to say that I really care about you. That’s all. Ang odd nga eh. Ako pa yung nagsasabi. Hindi kasi ako makaluma. Pero don’t get me wrong. I have big respect for myself. I just want this out of me and I want to be honest and I wanna forget about everything. I’m sorry for falling for you. It’s stupid, I know. Ayoko na din na dumagdag sa mga struggles mo. I know marami kang pinagdadaanan. Nung nalaman ko na kayo pala ni…. medyo nawindang ako. Shocked. Numb. numb na ako sa pain kasi I’ve been through a lot of it na so don’t you worry. Oo, nasaktan ako although wala naman akong karapatan. Kapal ng mukha ko na masaktan. Sa ngayon, di ko alam kung ano yung nararamdaman ko. Ewan ko. Medyo magulo. Ako na lang siguro ang lalayo. Mas ok na yun. I hope na mabalik na yung friendship natin like before. Mas astig yun! hehe. Don’t worry I’ll be praying for you. Kaya mo yan. God believes in you. Keep on running the race. always take care of yourself and Godbless.
so guys and gals, wag pasaway! para di masaktan always remember three letters of the alphabet!
TLW
TRUE LOVE WAITS!
Godbless sa lahat!
